Chasing Cars
by Violet-Madness
Summary: Their lives forever shattered by that fateful fight . . . months after almost all of the Cullens are slaughtered in a battle against Victoria, two scarred hearts meet again, this time under very different circumstances. And are the Cullens really gone?
1. Love

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING. Not Twilight, not Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, which is the inspiration behind this story.**

* * *

_**~BELLA~**_

_I close my eyes and wish I was strong enough to raise the pill to my mouth and swallow._

_My arm is locked down by invisible forces. My fingers flutter, uselessly, and the little orange pill almost rolls of my palm. Would I let it roll? I'm so cold. Ever since they left I've been so cold. The irony isn't lost on me- I'm reminded of it every time I make the mistake of touching someone else._

_A hot tear dribbles down my face, and I'm surprised. I thought I had lost the ability to cry. Like a salamander. Or a crocodile. Crocodile tears. I cried crocodile tears at their funeral._

_The pill winks at me, inviting me in. One swallow and your pain will be over, Bella, it entices. No more nightmares. No more memories of Edward, Alice, Jake or Esme. No more._

_No more life._

_I put the pill away and start on my math homework._

* * *

"Bella! Yoo-hoo! Anyone up there?"

I blink, startled. Jessica is standing in front of me, irritated- an emotion that's been appearing increasingly often on her face when I'm in her presence. "Yeah, Jess?" I ask blearily, shifting in my uncomfortable plastic chair. My lunch is spread across the table in front of me, but it isn't fooling anyone. I haven't eaten a decent meal in months.

"We're going to a movie. Mike's treat. I wouldn't have asked you if he hadn't begged me to." With that, Jessica spins on her heel and storms off.

"Bitch," I murmur as I continue to pick at my sandwich. I'm not sure if I'm referring to Jess or to myself.

Meeting after school with the 'gang' is just as awkward as I imagined it to be. Alice must have passed on her gift, because I know just when Mike will try to break the tension with a lame-ass yo mama joke. I'm too consumed with staring at the rainy panorama to put him out of his misery and set him straight. Mike is, and never will be, a comedian.

"Yo mama so dumb she studied all night for a blood test," Mike cracks, laughing as if he made that joke up himself instead of reading it off his iPod Touch screen. If you need any proof that there's an app to replace someone's brain, look no further than Mike Newton.

I accidentally crack a smile at my own musing, which Mike takes as further encouragement. His words blur to meaninglessness quickly. I go back to watching the rain.

The movie blurs like rainy windowpanes. I can tell there is love and mush but it all seems like crepe paper. Pretty to begin with but completely useless, in the end. Like me.

We file out of the cinema, the others chatting animatedly about the movie. Angela and Jess like it well enough, but I can tell that Eric and Mike only watched it for the actresses. Okay, Ben watched for Angela. His love for her makes me feel sick.

I shouldn't have seen this movie. I want to go home, to go escape into my Xanax-induced slumber. I ready myself to voice my plan to the others when we turn a street corner and I see him.

He sees me and halts suddenly. "Bella?" Jasper asks.

* * *

_**~JASPER~**_

_Pain is to be expected._

_Emmett is gone to Hell knows where. I don't want to know if he's accepted the Volturi's invitation. Rosalie has thrown herself into her dancing. She dances for days on end, never stopping, never halting. She doesn't speak to Emmett- or me. Carlisle throws himself into his work. Right now, he's dedicated to finding a cure for cancer._

_As if, in his search for a cure for cancer, he'll stumble upon a cure for broken families._

* * *

"Bella?"

She's changed. Her hair is dark now, cut short and choppy. She's lost so much weight- if she looked like a porcelain doll before she looks like a skeleton now. Her Ramones t-shirt hangs off her frame. Even her skinny jeans look a little loose. I can see her tattoos, her raccoon makeup, her nose stud, her ribs- is this what we left her to?

Of course, I'm not that better.

"Why did you come back?" she whispers. A jumble of emotions tumble off of her: anger, loss, bitterness, hatred. I'm not surprised at the hatred. It's to be expected. I did kill her Edward, after all. Not personally- it was more of a death-by-association kind of thing.

Her friends continue walking, oblivious of her pause.

I swallow reflexively and close my eyes. "I don't know," I say, knowing how stupid and weak my words sound to her. A new emotion rises within her; pity. Great. Am I that awful?

"Jasper, I . . . go away. Please. I'm doing just fine without you!" she spits, pity morphing into rage in an instant.

"I'll go away. I promise," I reply, stepping back into the shadows. I know she's hurting- the pain is definitely there- but it's mingling with mine, morphing into something that I have to escape from. "I'll never bother you again, Bella, I promise."

I watch as she catches up with her friends, plastering on a fake smile and pretending too hard to be happy. "Keep them safe, Jasper," Alice had told me, months ago, before Victoria and her army came. "Whatever happens to me, keep them safe."

I think she knew what was going to happen to her. Could she see me now? In Heaven? I refused to think that vampires didn't go to Heaven. Alice was a beautiful person. Was being the operative word. Slogging through the crowds, feeling their nervous jitter, wasn't helping my musings. But what did, these days?

Night has truly fallen in Port Angeles. Street lights flicker to a start, but I'm already gone. Perhaps a deer or two might satiate the empty feeling within me. The best deer are found near Forks, and to go there would be risking running into Bella again. I don't want to make her hurt even more, but the deer . . . Bella isn't going to be wandering around the forest, is she?

My plan decided, I begin my brisk run to the forests of Forks.

* * *

_**~BELLA~**_

_The dreams started a while ago- too long ago to begin wondering. They were so like the dreams that had visited me when Edward left the first time. Horrible nightmares. Awful nightmares. Nightmares that made the wallpaper tear, nightmares that made the house jerk and the paintings clatter._

* * *

A scream rips through my throat as Edward is ripped away from me. His eyes scream, I scream. Victoria bites down on his neck-

And the colours fade away, replaced by complete calm. Something cool is straightening my covers, brushing my hair away from my face, murmuring soothing words to me. "Bella, shh, it's okay, they're gone, don't be afraid . . ."

Without opening my eyes, I whisper, "It's not okay. They're gone."

The person pauses. "But it is okay, Bella. They're somewhere better. They don't hurt anymore."

"Edward . . . Alice . . . Esme . . . Jake . . . Seth . . . Leah . . .they're all somewhere better? Sometimes it hurts too much. That's why I turned to drugs in the first place. That's why I am like I am today," I confess. I'm still half-asleep, still with my eyes closed.

The other person's breathing hitches. "Drugs? Bella . . ."

"And sex. And booze. I tried killing myself too. Yesterday. The pill is still on my desk."

I hear the window crack and I know the Mystery Man just chucked the pill away. He settles next to me in my double, and a new wave of calm flows over me. I smile. I don't want it to go away. "That's nice," I mumble, teetering on the precipice of sleep. In a moment of clarity, I realize who is lying next to me. "I'm not angry at you for coming back. Thank you, Jasper."

"You're welcome, Bella. I missed you."

"I missed you too . . . so when I heard you screaming, I . . ."

All is silent for the briefest, most agonizing second. Then Jasper shifts, closer to me, eventually settling on sitting next to me on the bed.

I fall asleep to Jasper singing something under his breath, a lullaby of some sort.

_We'll do it all, everything, on our own.  
We don't need anything, or anyone._

_If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?_

_I don't quite know how to say how I feel  
Those three words, are said too much, they're not enough._

_If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told, before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life._

_Let's waste time, chasing cars, around our heads.  
I need your grace to remind me, to find my own._

_If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told, before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life._

_All that I am, all that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see_

_I don't know where, confused about how as well  
just know that these things will never change for us at all._

_If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?_

Little did I know I had just stepped in far above my head- this was just the beginning for me.

It wasn't going to be all sunshine and roses from here on.


	2. Doubt

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight. Obviously.**

**A/N: I had intended for "Chasing Cars" to be a one-shot, but the reviews I've received have encouraged me to go on! Love you guys, especially Aylienne, Anonymous Person, kimee0479 and Kathy Heister! Virtual hugs all around!**

**Aylienne: Since I'm not THAT sadistic and I don't enjoy inflicting TOO much pain, I'd have to say, no. Bella did not sleep with Mike Newton. Even when in total spiritual/emotional torment, I don't think I would ever sleep with Mike Newton.**

**Anonymous Person: Why Eddie and Seth? Drama; but are you SURE they died? Sorry, I just had to drop that one! You'll MAYBE get some answers in the next few chapters!**

* * *

_It had been so long since someone had cared about me that way._

_Charlie, of course, cared, but he had begun to drift slowly away, at a loss for words and a loss for empathy . . . he simply couldn't understand why I was sleeping with random strangers and partying it up intil four in the morning. _

_I guess we handle pain differently._

* * *

The morning dawns hot and sticky. The clouds hover over the skies, but they don't help the overwhelming heat pressing down on my shoulders.

Last night is a blur to me. I remember . . . what? Jasper?

God, I hope I didn't say anything stupid to him. But no, I had woken up with nobody there but the alarm clock buzzing. It must have been a dream. A nice one? I can't be sure.

"Morning, Bella," Angela greets as I enter the classroom. I can't help but notice her cautious eyes as she takes in my appearance. For some reason, today, I decided to wear a simple jeans-and-t-shirt combo. I wish I was wearing something less heavy, like shorts and a tank top. But perhaps this outfit wasn't the best idea- Angela keeps on glancing at my scarred wrists every two seconds, when she thinks I'm not paying attention.

"You're looking better," she tells me, a little hesitantly.

"Oh, yeah. Good night's sleep and all," I say dismissively. I pull out my notebook and pen, glancing at the door. Mr. Warner hasn't arrived yet.

"Well, I like your hair," Angela finishes lamely. Today I had actually styled my hair into something decent and presentable- a loose ponytail as opposed to bed head. I'm spared having to answer Angela when Mr. Warner enters the classroom and starts roll call.

I pretend not to notice that everyone looks surprised that I showed up to class. I also pretend not to notice that people practically gasp when I start taking notes on Mr. Warner's lecture.

* * *

_The question plagues me now, hovering over my thoughts. Did she mean it? "I Love You". Three words, but with so much impact it used to make me laugh. _

_Now I can't get them out of my mind._

* * *

"So how's Bella doing?"

Carlisle's voice jerks me out of my novel- not that I was actually _reading_it. "Hmm?" I ask distractedly, putting it down without a second thought.

"You went to see her, didn't you?" he asks.

"Oh. Yeah. She's not doing so good."

The older vampire settles into the couch across from me. He looks tired- or at least, the vampire equivalent of it. Worry flows out of him in waves. "How is she?"

"It's amazing she hasn't killed herself yet," I say, a little too harshly. Carlisle puts his head in his hands and his guilt makes me feel all the more disappointed with myself. "This is all my fault! This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't moved us to Forks!"

I'm surprised at his declaration. I'm the guilty one, not Carlisle. "You haven't done anything. It's my fault. If I hadn't been too damn proud to make an alliance with the werewolves, none of this would have happened!" I'm shouting now, hands clenching.

"You need to take a break, Jasper," Carlisle tells me in a broken voice.

I turn on my heel and jump out the second-story window. I don't care if it shatters or if I make a scene in front of my adoptive father, I just want to get away- from myself.

Bella hadn't helped things either. If she hadn't existed this would have never happened . . . but if she hadn't existed, I would have gone over to the other side sooner. Alice had seen it, I'm sure of it, but she hadn't commented . . . just tried to be a little more cheerful whenever I fantasized about drinking human blood.

Getting to know a human, knowing that your brother would have died if you had so much touched her, had been a useful experience. Now that nearly everyone was gone, I had no such qualms . . . until, unbidden, an image of Bella popped into my mind. What would she say if I revealed the true monster inside of me? Especially now . . . no. She had been dreaming last night. That was that.

I slow down to a leisurely walk. The air is sticky with humidity- not that it bothers me. Then the smell hits my nose. Human- dead human. Without wasting any time, I speed towards the cause of the odour. I enter a thick copse of trees surrounding a big boulder and find the body.

The corpse is female, a hiker, dressed in lightweight clothing. Her backpack lies a few feet away from her dead body.

I only need to glance once at her to know that she didn't die of natural causes.

* * *

_Getting back into the rhythm of my old life isn't as difficult as I had thought it would have been. It's even a little comforting, like a little lost part of me returned back home. I'm starting to enjoy it. _

_Of course, that little part used to be no different than the dozens of pieces of soul that flew away when Edward died. I don't think **those **will come back to me. Edward is dead. There is nothing I can do about it. _

_Unbidden, the image of Jasper enters my thoughts. _

* * *

I glance at the contents of the fridge and I'm glad I decided to go grocery shopping after school. The contents of the fridge consist of a misplaced ice pack, a bowl of something that might have been cheese- once, a box of cereal (also misplaced) and the remains of last night's Chinese takeout.

Tonight feels like soup-and-sandwiches night. I take two cans of tomato soup, a loaf of bread and cheese slices out of my shopping bag. While grilled cheese and tomato soup aren't exactly Cordon Bleu, they're better than leftover ginger beef.

I turn on the radio to the local station playing rock music and begin cooking. The contents of the cans are dumped into a pot and placed to heat over the stove. I am grabbing the bread when I hear it.

_We'll do it all, everything, on our own.  
We don't need anything, or anyone._

_If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?_

The bread slips out of my hands and drops onto the floor. Oh, God. Jasper. Last night. I had told him that I love him. Oh, God. It hadn't been a dream.

Hot tears flow down my cheeks. I'm perversely happy and mortified in equal measures. Oh, God. What would Edward say if he knew? Knew that I'm just as in love with his brother as I am with him? But Edward is dead. Gone. I had seen it.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I flinch and cover my face with my hands. "Go away." Calm surrounds me, and I stop crying against my will. A cardboard cube is shoved into my hands, and I realize Jasper's handed me a box of tissues. I blow my nose noisily, not caring that I probably sound like a horse.

I can't help but peek at Jasper. He's dressed in different clothes than last night- I think. He never really wore anything but cream sweaters and jeans. He still looks gorgeous.

"I found a hiker," Jasper starts; horrified, I glance at his eyes. No hint of red there. "Don't worry," he says hastily, sending waves of reassurance my way. "I didn't hurt her. She was already dead."

"Oh, God," I say. What is it with me and the Lord Almighty today? I had dropped the G-bomb at least five times today.

"A vampire got her. Bella, we've got company."

* * *

**Another thank-you to my reviewers who gave me the confidence to upgrade "CHASING CARS" into a full-on fanfic! If you spot any mistakes or if I accidentally slip into past tense (bad habit of mine) or would like to suggest some topics, CLICK THE GREEN BUTTON. **

**You know you want to. **


	3. Shock

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Twilight . . . or do I?**

**Damn. You people don't fool easily.**

**Big thank you goes out to Aylienne, who pointed out a grammar mistake- I had written "It hadn't a dream" when it should have been "It hadn't _been _a dream". Hugs! Also, my good friend gave me a few stylistic pointers and another friend reminded me to put segways in Ch.2- I had put segways in Ch.1 but not in Ch.2! Ch.2 has been revised, but it isn't necessary for my readers to go back and re-read it.**

**Thanks to: heal my bleeding heart, Kathy Hiester, kimee0479, Aylienne and sprazinko for making me dance around the house with joy (therefore making my family ask me if I had gone 'crazy again'). Virtual Hershey's Kisses all around!**

* * *

**_~BELLA~_**

_I'm almost scared, being plunged back into the vampire world. Part of me wants to go back to drinking, part of me wants to go back to normal- pre-Edward normal- and yet another part of me wants to embrace the vampire world as my own._

_Oh, and a part of me wants to kiss Jasper. Don't forget that part. _

* * *

"Oh, shit," I say. I would have asked Jasper if he's serious, but I can tell by his haunted eyes that he's dead serious. "Do you know who it is?" I ask as I sink into a nearby chair, Jasper taking the chair next to me. He shakes his head, but I can tell he's pondering something over. I don't tell him how much I want to touch his face- he looks even more beautiful now, in my kitchen.

After a few minutes of silence, I nudge Jasper with my toe. It's like kicking a stone wall, but I don't mind. "Hey, Jazz . . . what's up?" I ask hesitantly.

He jumps, startled, and glances back at me. "Sorry, Bella. It's just . . . now that I think about it . . . I feel like I almost _know _the smell hanging around that corpse. Like I've met the vampire before."

We sink into another silence. I get my ass off the chair and begin to grill the sandwiches as Jasper stares at the ceiling. A Stone Temple Pilots song comes on the radio and he starts humming again. I feel uncomfortable- visions of last night's confession (was it just last night?) flash through my mind. "Jasper . . ." I start, ready to broach the topic of last night, but I'm interrupted by the sound of the door opening.

"I'm home, Bella!" Charlie calls, tentatively, as he hangs up his coat and removes his shoes. Jasper and I tense in unison, and he glances at me with what, on a normal person, would have been labelled as _panic. _'What do I do?' he mouths. My eyes dart around the kitchen, but the only window/escape available is sealed shut, with no chance of me opening it. But no. Couldn't Jasper just run off like the wind? Couldn't he just run to the other door without Charlie noticing-

"Bella? Who the hell is this?"

* * *

**_~JASPER~_**

_Charlie had been extremely difficult during these past months. Gone is the compassion and leniency when we first left Bella- it's been replaced by awkwardness and anger. I can almost understand him now._

* * *

I can practically taste the panic coming off of Bella. And was it . . . guilt? She's guilty about being caught with me. I can't help but choke on that. She looks better today- there aren't bags under her amazing chocolate eyes and her hair is clean and pulled back into a ponytail. This only drives the blade deeper- her beauty.

"Char- Dad, this is Jasper Cullen," Bella says cautiously. She takes a step closer to me, putting a warm hand on my shoulder, and the lump in my throat lessens. Charlie's eyes dart to the hand and the fury radiating from him shocks me.

"A Cullen? You brought _a Cullen _here? Bella! Don't you remember what those idiots did to you?" he glances pointedly at the ladder-like scars decorating her bare arms. Bella pulls back, hurt, crossing her arms so that her scars weren't on display.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry for what hurt my brother Edward has brought onto this family, but I'm not Edward," I say, clearing my throat. Charlie gets angrier but doesn't look my way. He's still focusing on his daughter.

"I don't want to see his face ever again, Isabella Marie Swan. I don't care if he's the Messiah; I want him to _stay away _from you!" Charlie bellows, taking a few steps back and reaching for his gun.

I don't want Bella to be hurt by her father's actions- easier said than done. "Okay, Charlie, I'm leaving," I say in a calm, soothing voice. I send those selfsame emotions over to Charlie, but they only help him regain his composure so he can take another stab at me.

"You nearly killed her!" he snarls. I don't have to look at Bella to know it's true. I lower my head and walk out of the house. Bella's desperate, but I don't turn back.

* * *

**_~BELLA~_**

_It hurts more when the person hurting you is someone you love._

* * *

"Dad! He was _helping _me! If it hadn't been for Jasper, I would have ended it yesterday!" I scream, tearing out of the house, after Jasper. But it's too late. He's gone- without a trace.

It feels like my heart is ripping in two and wilting swiftly, dying within my chest.

Charlie joins me outside. "Shh, Bella, it's okay, you're better off without the damn Cullens." I let him lead me inside. "Honey, I arranged a meeting with a . . . a friend of mine. Tomorrow. I think you'll like her. She's gonna make everything better, I promise."

I sink into my bed and start crying. This routine is familiar.

Then I hear it. My cellphone. It's ringing- no trace of a special ring-tone, so it mustn't be Angela or Mike or Jess. Listlessly, I grab the phone and press the call button. "Hello? This is Bella," I say morosely, flopping back down onto my bed. I know how stuffy and sore my voice must sound to the person on the other end.

Said person inhales sharply. _"Bella? It's me, Rosalie." _

I sit bolt upright in my bed. "Rosalie? Why are you calling me?"

_"I can't find Jasper. He's gone-" _her voice is worried, but I interrupt her.

"He just visited me. Charlie got angry. He's gone."

A staticky silence hangs between us. _"Can you help me find him, Bella? Please?"_

Can I honesty help Rosalie? After all this time? Even before the massacre, we hated each other. Now . . . I'm not so sure. She sounds hollow, like Jasper. Like I do. "Sure, Rose. I'll search the woods outside my house, okay?"

_"Thank you so much, Bella. I hate calling you, but . . . I'm worried about him." _Was it relief that I heard in Rosalie's voice? Hadn't she been expecting me to say yes?

"I'll get on it. If we don't find him in an hour, meet me at the school."

* * *

**_~JASPER~_**

_They say silence is golden; sometimes it is, but sometimes silence makes you want to curl up in a hole and die. I know from experience that more emotions are conveyed in silence than in words. A comfortable silence, a romantic silence, a peaceful silence, a guilty silence, an angry silence, a sad silence . . . I have experienced all. But I haven't encountered anything remotely close to the silence in my heart._

* * *

If I could cry, I would be crying right now.

Instead, I take my anger out on a nearby tree. It snaps cleanly in half and I don't care if some intrepid hiker notices how clean the cut is. Stupid humans, always sticking their noses in things.

I can't blame Charlie, though. I did nearly kill Bella. I killed her fiancé. I killed her dreams.

I have to leave. Do like Bella told me to do when we met yesterday . . . before she said she loved me. Before I told her I loved her too. God, what an icebreaker. _Oh, by the way, I was in love with you even when you were dating my brother! He didn't say anything because he was such a nice guy and deep down he knew there was no chance of you loving me back! Of course, he didn't foresee his untimely __**death**__! He didn't know- I didn't know- you didn't know-_

Dry sobs hitch in my chest, and I try shoving them away, biting them down, but I can't. What would Alice say if she could see me now? Would she be angry? Pitiful? Sad?

Happy for me? That I'd sort of . . . kind of . . . recovered?

A twig snaps in the distance and I jerk out of my downward spiral just in time to catch a whiff of a terrible, familiar scent.

It's the vampire that attacked the hikers. It's back. And it's close. I tense, eyes flitting around the forest. I can't _see _anyone, but that doesn't mean I there's no one here. Then a strangely floral smell hits my nose and I'm suddenly terrified- for _her_. Oh God, why did she have to come here, now of all times?

I whirl around to face Bella, pulling her to me before the vampire has a chance to pounce on her. "Bella, there's a _vampire _here! _The _vampire!" I hiss. I feel her heartbeat and her panic increase tenfold as she stiffens.

"I recognize the smell," she sobs, emotions running rampant as she buries her face into my shoulder. The vampire's presence fades, as if it were never there in the first place. The only thing left is the faint odour it left behind.

"It's Edward, isn't it?"


	4. Confusion

**Disclaimer: I own nothing . . . but the tubs of angst I liberally spread onto this story. (I got them on sale at Wal-Mart)**

**Big thank you goes out to: my awesome beta, Aylienne, everyone who reviewed/subscribed/added my story and, finally, my bud Meg for giving me a few pointers while watching WHAT NOT TO WEAR! Honestly . . . butt-length dreadlocks? Yech.**

**

* * *

**

_~BELLA~_

_I had lived as though he was dead. If I had known he was still alive, would I have sunk deeper because he abandoned me or would I have stayed afloat, knowing that he was out there, somewhere? Was I being selfish for thinking he abandoned me? Did he think I was dead? _

_Did he still love me?_

_For his sake, I hope not, because I wasn't sure if could love him again. _

* * *

"But he's dead," Jasper says lamely. He pulls me closer, like a reflex. I can't help but notice he's shaking – his fright is driving my own deeper into my chest.

"Did we ever find the bodies?" I whisper. I'm too shell-shocked to be scared, or worried, or any of that crap. I had just smelled _Edward_, my lost love, the person I had thought was _dead_. He had killed a woman. "Did we ever find the bodies, Jasper?" I repeat when Jasper doesn't answer.

Jasper breaks out of his trance. "We didn't," he murmured. "We saw them . . . we got separated . . . then the Volturi . . . came and told us . . ."

"The Volturi." I force the word out of my lips. "They told us that they were all _dead_. What would they have to gain from it?"

"They always wanted to break the Cullens," Jasper continues. His eyes are stricken, betrayed. "What do we do, Bella?" he asks me, and he sounds so . . . _broken_ . . . I can't help but hold him even tighter.

"Bella! You found him!" Rosalie says as she darts into the clearing. Her hair is mussed and she isn't wearing any makeup. Her clothes look . . . _plain_. Sweats and a tank top. What happened to the gorgeous vampire beauty I had envied? "Don't you ever run off on me again, Jasper," she says sternly, but I hear the false note in her voice.

"Rose . . . it's Edward."

Rosalie freezes. "You're kidding."

I shake my head and she plops down onto the ground, head in hands. I had never seen her so defeated. Today was a day for seeing vampires I had thought unbreakable break down into base emotions.

Jasper lets go of me and goes to Rose, heaving her to her feet. "C'mon, chin up."

"We've got to go to Carlisle," I say, quiet yet loud enough for the vampires to catch. Rose wipes her eyes even if she hadn't been crying – it must have been a reflex. Jasper grabs me before I can react and swings me onto his back so that I can curl my arms and legs around him piggy-back style.

"You know the drill," he tells me as he begins running to the Cullen house.

Trees whip past us at speeds too great for me to take them in properly. Rosalie is just a blur leading the way.

We come to a halt in front of the imposing house. It has changed – before it used to look beautiful, now it looks cold. Like the vampires inhabiting it. Rosalie and Jasper lead me into the house, and I detect a certain . . . caution in their movements.

"Carlisle, we're home," Jasper calls out. Is that hesitation I hear in his voice? My eyes dart around the open, stylish entrance and land on the marble staircase.

The blond vampire is staring at me like I've grown wings. "Bella?" Carlisle asks incredulously. I'm sure that, if he was a human, Carlisle would have bags under his eyes. He looks exhausted – more in his slumped posture than in his flawless features.

"Hi," I say, shuffling my feet timidly. Jasper shifts closer to me and I feel a wave of calm wash over me.

"Bella, you've changed," Carlisle tells me, eyes taking in my overall appearance. I must look like some kind of junkie to him, all bones and haunted eyes. At least I'm wearing a baggy long-sleeved t-shirt so that he can't see my scars.

"Yeah." Lame _and_ awkward. Great.

"Carlisle, there's another vampire in Forks. We think it's Edward," Rose interrupts. Carlisle's features freeze and he stays like that for several minutes – not blinking, breathing or even twitching a finger.

"Are you absolutely certain?" he asks, pronouncing every word slowly and clearly.

I nod, and three sets of eyes flick to my face. "I . . . uh . . . know how he . . . I mean, I remember how he used to . . . uh . . ." I stutter, blush decorating my cheeks.

"Smell," Rose finishes for me.

"Ah," Carlisle murmurs. "But we saw –"

"No, we were _told_," Jasper says fiercely, amber eyes blazing. "We were _told _by the Volturi that they were dead! What if they aren't dead? What if the Volturi was _lying _to us?"

Carlisle's eyes are kind, almost forgiving, as he steps towards us and puts a marble hand on his son's shoulder. "Jasper, are you absolutely certain . . ."

"Yes!" Jasper snaps, stepping away from Carlisle. The vampire's hand falls lamely to his side. "Who do you believe? Us or Aro?"

**

* * *

**

_~JASPER~_

_Carlisle's doubt clouds everything but his work. He works tirelessly over intricate plans and blueprints and tests. He goes weeks without feeding, but it doesn't seem to bother him in his tireless search for a cure. While Rose secretly admires his bravery, I admire his naïveté. _

* * *

Now he is forced to look me in the eyes. "You," he answers. I know the shame and guilt emanating from him comes from his reluctance to doubt the Volturi. They are, after all, royalty. But isn't it always the royalty, the people in charge, that lie the most?

"We need to talk to the werewolves," Bella interrupts. My eyes flick to her, and she looks down at her feet, cheeks colouring. The old Jasper would have salivated at the blood flowing to her cheeks -but my control has been fine-tuned to perfection. I had promised it to Alice, and now I am finally grateful for it.

"The wolves?" Rose asks. Even Carlisle can hear the doubt in her voice.

"Yes. They lost two of their own," reminds Bella, "and they might help us . . . y'know . . . find them." The last part of her sentence is mumbled, but, as a vampire, I hear it clearly.

Carlisle accepts, and the potent cocktail of hope and despair flowing off of him makes me want to gag. Rosalie is resigned, even grudging. "We'd better go," I say, offering my hand to Bella. She turns pink yet again and accepts it.

**

* * *

**

_~BELLA~_

_Feelings churn within me. Take it or leave it? This new . . . fondness for Jasper. It is different to what my love for Edward had been. More . . . alien. I'm not sure if it's that's a good or a bad feeling. _

* * *

The air in La Push is heavy, even if the humans carry on with their daily lives like nothing had happened a few months ago. Jasper, Rose, Carlisle and I walk up the streets, wanting to appear normal, unthreatening. There's a distinct distance between Jasper and I that I cannot ignore.

We get a few strange looks – a group of haunted-looking white kids, with a lost-looking adult trailing behind – but we ignore them pointedly as I lead the group to Billy's house.

Here too is heavy with sadness. It's the most visible in the peeling paint and untrimmed lawn. "You sure you want to do this?" Jasper asks, more out of habit than necessity. He knows what I want to do. I ring the doorbell and wait, anxiety building within me. My heart is pounding and Jasper sends waves of reassurance my way, but I can still feel my unease just below the surface.

"Hello?" The door is yanked open revealing a very battered-looking Embry. A cigarette dangles from his lips as he takes us in. "Vamps!" he spits, backing away and stubbing the cigarette in an unseen ashtray.

I glance at Carlisle, waiting for him to start explaining, but he just stands there looking bewildered. I step forward and begin to explain. "We've found evidence of one of our dead brothers, Edward. We're wondering if maybe, since Edward's alive, Seth and Jacob might be-"

"How do you get off, calling him _your _brother? He's a vampire. You're a human," Embry interrupts, eyes narrowed. Jasper places a hand on my shoulder, calming me but glaring at Embry all the same. Rose isn't showing that much restraint – her lips are pulled back into an almost feral snarl.

"We're a big family," Carlisle says weakly, but the attempt at light-heartedness fools no one.

"That's not the point, meathead. Your packmates might be alive, and we're wondering if you care!" Rose snaps. The only comparison to the look in her eyes now is that of Medusa before she turned someone to stone.

A scarred and exhausted face appears behind Embry. Sam. "Come back when you find evidence," he growls and slams the door shut.


	5. Terror

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing . . . except Bella's Chuck Taylors.**

**Double thank-yous go out to my beta, Aylienne, and EVERYONE who reviewed/favourited/subscribed to my story. Happy Family Day/Louis Riel Day to everyone, even if you have no clue about those holidays! All you need to know is that they count as a day off from school . . . which is why I uploaded this chapter TODAY!**

* * *

_**~BELLA~**_

One's pain is another's painkiller. _Leonid S. Sukhorukov. _

* * *

The walk back home is ten different kinds of uncomfortable.

Rose and Carlisle have vanished, Rose to her dance studio and Carlisle to the hospital. This left Jasper to walk me home. I guess I could have walked back to Forks myself, or gotten a ride with god knows who, but Jasper had insisted on walking with me.

So far, nobody has driven past us on the deserted gravel road. The forest stretches on all sides, and I can't see anything but the trees, the road, and Jasper.

"You okay?" he asks suddenly. I blink and sigh.

"Was I ever okay?" I reply, kicking a wayward pebble with my Chuck Taylors. The air is cooling with the setting sun, and I might have commented on the streaks of red and orange in the sky, that were reminiscent of unchecked food-colouring, if I actually cared.

"Good point," Jasper laughs, bitterly. Silence falls between us yet again. _"If I lay here, if I just lay here . . ." _

I stop, pressure building behind my eyes. "Jasper, please stop," I say. He looks at me sharply, but then his expression turns into one of apology.

"I'm sorry, Bella. It's a habit. Alice loved – loves – loved . . . that song."

I'm not sure whose pain it is in my heart; his or mine. Are they still the same people? Are they even alive? Is it just Edward, or are they all together? Separate? Have they moved on? We start walking again. The sun has nearly set, its last rays brushing the treetops. We're almost in Forks.

"Bella, I almost envy you," he tells me.

"Why?" I ask, startled.

"You could forget. You could forget with the help of drugs and all that crap." Jasper nods towards my arms, towards the scars hidden within my sleeves. "Don't think Carlisle didn't notice."

"It wasn't like forgetting," I say. "It was more like trying to forget. You take the pills, you take the joint, you swallow, you inhale, and it's gone . . . until you remember, and then you take another pill, another puff, another sip, just because you want it to leave again. It's never completely gone."

Jasper nods. "With me, it was books. I know how to speak dead languages now."

This makes me laugh, and suddenly he's laughing and everything's not as bad as it was five minutes ago. Suddenly, Jasper's laughter cuts off and he wheels towards me, terror in his eyes.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see a figure leap out of the trees behind me.

Jasper throws himself into the path of the vampire, and then the two are fighting, growling, slashing at each other faster than my weak eyes can see. I can't tell who is who in the dusk.

I feel useless, just standing there. I should be helping Jasper, but I know I can't do _anything. _My knees start shaking and I consider trying to make a run for it, but my feet are glued to the gravel. I can't move, my breath comes in terrified gasps, and I squint, trying to make out who is who. Occasionally, I can make out a flash of blond hair or an ivory hand, but distinct features are lost in the gloom.

"BELLA! RUN!" Jasper screams just as the figures separate – no, they don't separate. One is thrown forcefully into a tree. The resounding crack resonates through my body, throwing me off balance. In that split second I realize that I'm truly going to die, because I see Jasper's crumpled form at the base of that now shattered tree.

All I can think of is Charlie and Renee. I never got the chance to tell them how sorry I am for what I put them through. Feeling suddenly returns to my legs and I make a desperate and fruitless attempt at escape. I trip on a _shoelace_, of all things, and am sent sprawling. The gravel grazes my palms and tears a hole in the knee of my jeans.

Then I'm aware of the all too familiar smell.

I turn to see the bloodthirsty vampire crouching behind me, and the look on his face is so foreign, so thoroughly inhuman, that I can barely believe my eyes.

"Edward-" I start, but it's too late. His teeth sink into my neck and indescribable pain engulfs me.

In the distance, a wolf howls.


	6. Pain

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. As usual. **

**Thanks goes out to my beta Aylienne and my reviewer TheWolfGirl-08, who reminded me that I had labelled this romp as a romance. I promise to amp up the romance in the next chapters!**

**Song for This Chapter: Vampires _(DOMENICA)_**

_**

* * *

**_

~JASPER~

_Nobody can hurt you more than those you love._

* * *

"Bella! Bella! Wake up, please wake up!" I shout, shaking her shoulders. Her eyes are closed, and she looks like she might be sleeping – if it hadn't been for the horrible bite mark on her throat. Edward had run into the trees, amazingly, but I'm not focussing on him, all I can see is Bella. "Please, Bella!" I plead. A whimper escapes her lips and her eyes start darting beneath her eyelids.

She's already changing, and there's nothing I can do for her. Trying to suck the venom out won't work – she's already too far along. All I can do now is hold her hand and try making her hurt a little less. Why did I have to be so _weak_? I could have saved her if I had been stronger, if Edward hadn't taken advantage of me not wanting to hurt him . . .

"_Bella!_"

Wolf. There's a wolf here, running towards us. I don't move – I don't want to leave Bella, even if this werewolf kills me. He slams into me, but I stay strong – for her, only her, and the pain I'm preventing with my power. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? YOU KILLED HER THE DAY YOU TOLD HER –"

"I'M NOT EDWARD!" I scream back. "I DIDN'T DO THIS!"

He jumps back a pace, eyes darting wildly. He's young, maybe in his mid-teens, but built sturdily. I can't seem to place his face. "You didn't do this?" he asks slowly, eyes jumping to Bella's prone form.

"No. She's changing. She's going to be a vampire soon."

"Who are you?" His eyes narrow. "I don't know you."

"You do," I say, tiredly, "I'm one of the Cullens. Jasper."

"I'm Seth," he sighs.

"You're dead," I reply.

He gives me a strange look. "You're dead."

We sit in silence, listening to Bella toss and turn on the gravel. Numbly, I scoop her up in my arms and move her to the grassy part of the ditch. Seth follows. "I'm not leaving," he informs me. "Bella was like a big sister to me, when she hung out with Jake . . . before."

"I'm not leaving either," I say. "I tried to kill her once, you know." Seth quirks an eyebrow, but doesn't comment. I decide to continue. "On her eighteenth birthday. She got a paper cut. You know how clumsy she is. Was. Anyway, I was stupid and uncontrolled. I attacked her, but Edward stopped me."

"Must suck – you trying to stop Edward but failing." Normally, I would have snapped at those harsh words, but the way Seth phrased them – more musing than bitter – didn't make it sound like an insult. His emotions, too, weren't vengeful, more worried and concerned for Bella.

"Yeah, it sucks."

Bella cries out suddenly and I increase the level of calm I'm sending her. Seth looks worried. "How long does this take?" he asks, glancing over his shoulder at the road.

"Two days at the most," I reply grimly.

"We should move to the forest, then," Seth replies, equally grim, "I don't think this will be pretty, will it?"

* * *

_**~BELLA~**_

_Of all things hanging in my mind, all I can think of is how many times I had wished for Edward to turn me. But karma shows her true colours more often than not. So I can't help but laugh internally, knowing that Edward turned me after all, even if I didn't want it anymore. _

* * *

Pain is not new to me, but this is.

Pain does not describe it properly, this horrible, agonizing sensation crippling my entire body. Everything hurts, and I honestly want to die. Is this Hell? Have I gone to Hell for loving them? The vampires?

Is God really that cruel? Is there even a God? If so, why did he take Edward away?

I'm aware of screams escaping my lips, but I can't hear them. All I can hear, feel, is the pain.

* * *

_**~JASPER~**_

_I wonder if Edward would be able to recognize Bella now. She's willowy, graceful. The painful thinness about her has been softened, replaced by a healthy, if slim, physique. Her hair has turned even darker – it's now a dark chocolate colour, barely shades away from black – and is cut below her chin, like the night we first met. She looks even more achingly beautiful than before._

* * *

"Hey, sorry I snapped at you before," Seth says. His voice is hoarse – he only went to rest and get food once during the two days we've been here, deep in the forest, watching and waiting over Bella. At least, now, her screams had died down. She's reaching the final stages of the change.

"It's no problem."

"I'm just really _angry _at Edward," Seth explodes, his emotions suddenly turning furious. His hands start tearing out patches of grass. I'm tempted to tell him to stop, but I know it'll only make him angrier.

"Why?" I ask.

"He's the one we have to take care of! Every single fricking day! It's Edward we have to baby – I mean, we all got over it – but he's stuck in a rut. Killing humans whenever it 'gets too painful'. We all got over the pack _dying _– " Seth halts, glancing at me, "– but they didn't die, did they?"

I shake my head. "We were told you had died. You, Alice, Edward, Esme, Jacob."

"By the Volturi, right?" More anger. More grass. "_Assholes!_"

I laugh bitterly at this. "Let me guess – they told you we had died?"

"Bella, Carlisle, Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Sam, the enemy vampires, Quil, Embry, Jared, Leah, Brady . . . the whole lot."

"So what did you do after that?"

"Left town, set up in Crook's Hollow, five hours from here. Esme helped – a lot. Well, her diamonds did. She sold the whole lot."

"That must have been hard on her. They were from Carlisle."

"I think she wanted to scrub the memories away, y'know. Try to, anyway."

"And . . . what about Alice and Edward?"

"We all had our bad moments . . . Alice's didn't last long. Edward's . . . well . . . still in his nightmare. If it hurt too much, he'd hurt someone, and we'd be left to pick up the pieces."

Bella shifts again, closer to me. I move my hand to her shoulder, fingers tracing patterns onto her ivory skin. Her heart is still beating, but very . . . very . . . faintly. She didn't have long.

"Gosh, she looks like Bree," Seth comments. My head jerks up from studying Bella's face. The worry is still present in him, but now there's something tender there too – love, perhaps? Fondness, affection . . . something along those lines.

"Bree?" I ask. His emotions take a softer tone, and there's no mistaking the love there.

"I imprinted on her. In the middle of the battle. Some kind of stupid, huh?" Seth chuckled. "Vampire and all . . . Jacob would have hated it if he hadn't imprinted on Alice."

_"What!?"_

Numbness returns. My Alice . . . imprinted on? Was she even _my _Alice anymore? Hurt – the wound reopens again. Seth realizes he's done something bad and he frantically tries to right himself. "What's wrong? Alice? Jacob?" Realization dawns on him. "You were Alice's husband before, weren't you?"

I nod and shift Bella's head onto my lap as if she can offer me some sort of solace, some sort of relief. Her hair is soft on my fingertips as I continue tracing patterns on her face. Honestly, it doesn't hurt as bad as I would have expected, finding out Alice fell in love with another.

Seth's face softens. "I'm sorry, man, but it doesn't look like you're doing that bad right now." He gestures at Bella. I close my eyes and, to his credit, Seth doesn't continue.

"She's still sad, you know," he whispers. "They're all still sad. Can you guys . . . come and see us after Bella's changed?"

I nod again. "Of course."

Almost as if on cue, Bella's heartbeat sputters to a halt. Seth starts to his feet but sighs and sinks back down to his sitting position. "It's done," I announce.


	7. Happiness

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. You get the drift.**

**Sorry for making you guys wait so long! I've had the nastiest streak of writer's block!**

* * *

**~BELLA~**

_I know Jasper is trying to help me. I can feel calm radiating from somewhere inside of me, but it's laced with fright and terror. I will Jasper to regain control as his emotions swing wildly for the umpteenth time. Guilt, horrible guilt. It's the worst feeling. I want to tell him that everything is okay, but my mouth feels stitched shut._

_What if I die without seeing him again? What if the change goes awry? He is more than a companion, someone to share the pain with. This I know now, in my trancelike state._

_These are thoughts I shouldn't be thinking about, especially now, as my heart finally stops with its last, foreboding thud. _

* * *

My eyes open and I forget to breathe.

It's amazing. The sunlight falls, dappled, through a canopy of green leaves. I can make out every leaf in perfect detail, as if it is right in front of me. I'm aware of a squirrel thirty yards away, darting through the underbrush. Two smells, intermingled, are brought to my attention.

One is hot and heavy, a wet-dog odour that causes me to wrinkle my nose in distaste. I sense a heartbeat thudding, blood pumping thickly. It doesn't make my mouth water; it is the owner of the wet-dog smell.

The other is much more appealing. It reminds me of cologne. Nice, simple cologne, laced with leather and sandalwood undertones. Edward's smell flits into my mind – no; this smell is deeper, darker, smoother.

"Bella," Jasper's voice is laced with heaviness, as if he hadn't slept. Of course he hadn't slept, I chide myself. Vampire. Am I a vampire now? Never to sleep again?

"Hey, Bells, get up. We gotta get moving." The owner of the dog smell shakes my shoulder, gently, with skin that burns like a furnace. I turn my head, faster than a human ever could, and take in the sight of a heavyset, copper-skinned man. His features are familiar.

"Seth?" I ask, bewildered. My voice sounds strange - melodic. Seth has filled out into a werewolf, no longer the cheerfully gangly boy I once knew.

"Yeah. C'mon. The others will have moved by now and we have a lot of ground to cover."

My eyes dart to Jasper - he's massaging his temples, eyes scrunched shut. Another wave of guilt makes me wince. Suddenly, the guilt is smothered. Jasper opens his eyes and yanks me to my feet. I'm confused - there's no kindness in that gesture, only hurry.

"We run," he says in a cold voice.

"Excuse me," Seth smiles, awkwardly, and darts off into the bushes to morph into his second skin - that of a wolf.

"Are you thirsty?" Jasper asks, rifling through a backpack propped against a nearby tree. I shake my head as Jasper tosses me some clothes. I catch them with that eerie, unfamiliar grace. They're simple - a pair of slim jeans and a dark t-shirt.

"Thank you," I say, awkwardly, to Jasper's back. He hasn't turned from the backpack. I dart away to change. My human clothes are rank with dry sweat and what looks like salty tears. I'm thankful yet again for the change of clothes. At least now I smell normal.

My newfound super-hearing picks up the sounds of shifting and cracking and _morphing_. I wince and feel sorry for Seth, if only for the briefest of seconds. I drift back to the clearing in time to see Jasper swing the backpack onto his shoulders. He looks determined, painfully so. My heart twists again.

"Ready?"

I nod and watch as a giant wolf pads into the clearing. His eyes are those of Seth - dark blue and sharp. Jasper yanks my arm again and we're off, running through the forest at what seems like the speed of light.

It's an exhilarating feeling - running faster than a human ever could. My hair flows behind me and my bare feet rarely touch the ground as we whirl through the trees. Seth follows, not quite as fast, but still a force to be reckoned with. He must have given Jasper directions beforehand.

I wonder what else I missed.

* * *

_**~JASPER~**_

_Ignorance is bliss. What she doesn't know can't hurt her. It's better to forget. _

_Great. I sound like Edward. _

* * *

We meet up with Carlisle and Rosalie quickly. They were anxious, terse - at least, more so than usual. Carlisle's eyes betray no emotion as he took in Bella's newfound appearance. "We all knew it was coming," is his only comment. Rosalie hugged Bella quickly, which surprised both me and Bella.

"They should be just around the corner," Seth announces, breaking me out of my reverie. He had reverted to human form fifteen minutes ago, to better navigate through the dense forest. We are in the deepest part of the forest, where the sun only shined briefly if ever. "Cheerful, I know. But it's best here where nobody usually-"

"SETH!" a voice shrieks. A blur of black and white slams into Seth. It's a girl- slim, vampiric, and with dark hair. Bree, I assume. She feels worried and relieved in equal measures. The vampire girl quickly untangles herself from Seth and turns to face us. She's untrusting, amber eyes darting from Carlisle to Rose to Bella to me. "Who are you?" she demands.

"Bree, these are friends," Seth says slowly, carefully. "Carlisle, Rosalie, Bella and Jasper. They're Alice, Esme and Edward's family."

Bree's brow furrows in concentration. "Aren't they supposed to be dead?"

"Volturi," I say as explanation. Bree hisses, almost imperceptibly. I can practically taste her hatred. "They lied to us."

"Can you take us to them?" Bella begs, eyes darting to my face for the briefest second, guilty. Why does she feel guilty? Before, I might have put a soothing hand on her shoulder, but I had vowed not to get too attached before it was too late.

I'm scared it's already too late. That my heart will be crushed into a million pieces when Bella is reunited with Edward. How could I compare to her first love?

Why am I even thinking about this? I _don't _care about Bella. I _don't_. She is _nothing_ to me.

Then I catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye and I know it's too late for me.

We are approaching a curve in the forest, a slow dip downwards. A small cabin comes into view - it is small and lacks warmth, as if it's just as cold as its occupants. Someone is sitting on the small porch, a familiar someone, someone with pixie hair and marble skin.

"Bree . . . Seth . . ." her eyes widen as she notices the rest of us. "It can't be," she whispers.

Alice.

* * *

_**~BELLA~**_

_Seeing her is like getting punched in the windpipe. It hurts so much- the only thing is that I can't tell if it's a good kind of hurt or the bad kind. _

* * *

"JASPER! BELLA! CARLISLE! ROSE!"

Alice launches herself at us, wrapping Jasper and I in a marble hug. It doesn't hurt like it did when I was a human - perhaps because I'm just as tough as she is, now.

"I thought you _died_," she sobs without shedding tears.

"We thought you were dead too," Jasper murmurs. His eyes are on Alice. I can't make out the expression behind them.

"What is it Alice - oh Lord!" Esme joins our group, crashing into Carlisle. They hold each other tightly, and the knot in my stomach tightens as I feel another presence in the cottage clearing. Edward. He stands close to the house with a man who can only be Jacob. Jacob smiles warmly at me and joins the happy group, but Edward stays.

His eyes are rubies. He nods, once, at me, and I don't feel any love or sorrow or longing.

"How has it been? How have you been?" Esme asks worriedly, and I turn away from Edward to face her.

"I'm fine. Coping." Automatically, my eyes are drawn to Jasper. He's watching Alice and Jacob as they hug each other happily. His eyes are closed windows.

Esme smiles a little knowing smile. _Good for you_, it seems to say. She pats me on the arm.

"I hope you're all right with . . . us," Alice says hesitantly. Jasper smiles, and it may be small, but it's definitely a smile. Alice and Jacob exchange relieved looks. Then Alice's gaze turns to me. "I know you didn't suffer completely."

There's something in her expression that tells me she _knows. _Knows about my new feelings, my confession, my hurt at seeing Jasper brush me off.

Then Edward joins the group, almost tentatively. "Bella . . . I'm sorry."

"For what?" I ask, slightly confused.

"For holding you back," is his reply. "And for turning you."

"It's okay." I forgive him, to my surprise. He smiles, tentative air never leaving him. "You just have to promise me to go back to drinking from animals, okay?"

Edward nods and steps closer to whisper something in my ear. "You have to promise me something, too. Go talk to him, okay?"

Night falls surprisingly quickly. Esme and Carlisle quickly drift off, as do Seth and Bree. Alice and Jacob are talking animatedly with Rosalie about God knows what. I'm left watching Jasper out of the corner of my eye, pretending to pay attention to Rose. He's staring off into the distance, features unreadable yet again.

Mustering up all of my courage, I nudge him with my elbow. He turns to me and nods, rising to his feet and starts walking to the forest. I follow. Jasper's humming an all too familiar tune as he turns back to me.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"No. I try ignoring you, but it only made me realize something."

If I had been human, my heart would have been pounding in my chest. I step a little closer to him. That delicious smell, _his _smell, hangs in the air. "What?" I whisper.

"I love you," he answers, and I can't answer back because his lips are on mine.

* * *

_**~JASPER~**_

_Time passes slowly when you are immortal. Before, I used to curse it. Now I enjoy every second - with my new family, with my new love. Everyone is healing, but we have each other. Emmett came home to a happy surprise. He still doesn't speak about his time with the Volturi, but he and Rose are happy._

_We are all happy. And I sing to Bella every day. _

We'll do it all, everything, on our own.  
We don't need anything, or anyone.

If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?

I don't quite know how to say how I feel  
Those three words, are said too much, they're not enough.

If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told, before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

Let's waste time, chasing cars, around our heads.  
I need your grace to remind me, to find my own.

If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?  
Forget what we're told, before we get too old  
Show me a garden that's bursting into life.

All that I am, all that I ever was  
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where, confused about how as well  
just know that these things will never change for us at all.

If I lay here, if I just lay here  
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?


	8. End

Hope people enjoyed Chasing Cars! As of now, I'm FINISHED with the story. Currently working on several ideas floating in my mind- check out my profile to vote and/or comment.


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